This is an infant version of everyone’s favorite plumber who must be protected by Yoshi (that is, you). If the two of them get separated, may God have mercy on your eardrums.
Why he annoyed us: Did you know that human beings are biologically programmed to find a baby’s crying unpleasant? If you answered ‘yes’, congratulations, you’re smarter than Nintendo.
Every time Baby Mario is separated from Yoshi, he bawls his lungs out, releasing one of the most ear-piercing sound effects in video game history. While the relentless crying does prompt the player to urgently recover Baby Mario, it comes at a great price: their sanity. Thanks to him, the mute button quickly becomes an integral part of this gameplay experience.
Sonic 2 introduces us to Tails, a sidekick who wants to help Sonic save the world. Unfortunately, his ambitions far surpass his abilities.
Why he annoyed us: On one hand, Tails is a cute, lovable fox. But on the other hand, Tails is pussysaga good for exactly nothing. Unable to keep up with Sonic’s momentum, playing as Tails in the co-op mode is basically a constant struggle to keep the character on-screen.
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The computer-controlled version of Tails is no better. Try playing a special stage with Tails as your computer partner and he becomes the digitalized version of every bumbling sidekick in TV sitcom history, crashing into bombs at will. During regular gameplay, when he’s not busy dying, Tails has also been known to prematurely activate crumbling platforms and elevators. Worst of all, deep down inside he believes he’s helping the entire time, which makes it almost impossible to hate him.
This toad pilot and mechanical genius is a valued member of the Star Fox team. That is, until he opens his mouth, engages in combat, or pretty much does anything.
Why he annoyed us: You’d think that a toad flying a jet fighter in space would be nothing short of awesome. You’d be wrong. During every mission, Slippy quickly makes himself the most hated member of the Star Fox team by using his high-pitched voice to shout random, useless advice. During combat, his idea of dogfighting seems to be getting trapped by the enemy and bugging Fox to save him.
We’re assured during the game that his mechanical expertise makes him invaluable, which must be the only reason he isn’t blown out of the sky by friendly fire five seconds after takeoff.
Resident Evil 4 sends you off to rescue Ashley, the president’s daughter. Once you find her, keeping her alive becomes a tedious, full-time job for the rest of the game.
Why she annoyed us: When will game developers learn that no one enjoys protecting the weak and defenseless? Or even worse, controlling them?
Like Resident Evil 2’s Sherry Birkin before her, Ashley’s special abilities include being difficult, slowing you down, and making the game less fun. It gets to the point that when Ashley gets recaptured, it’s like a weight has been lifted. You can go back to slaughtering mutated Spanish villagers unencumbered. The whole second half of the game revolves around saving Ashley from a parasite implanted in her body that would turn her into an inhuman horror. How many of us were hoping the parasite would take over so we would have an excuse to bombard her with incendiary grenades?
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